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<title>Affinity News Source | Published News</title>
<link>http://ans.wifiction.com</link>
<description>Made-up News from ChaliceMedia</description>
<pubDate>Sat, 31 Oct 2009 07:46:26 MDT</pubDate>
<language>en</language>
<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Gideon for President in 2008]]></title>
	<link>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=gideon-for-president-in-2008</link>
  <source url="http%3A%2F%2Fwww.yorkbroadcast.com%2Fthe-news%2F21-gideon-for-president-in-2008"><![CDATA[Gideon for President in 2008]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[Solace Creek, Colorado (ANS) - Colorado Congressman T. Emory Gideon just announced that he is a candidate for President in 2008.  In a radical WebSpeech, Gideon decried immigration -- as usual -- and the First Amendment -- as usual.  We at York Broadcast Network are not expecting this run to last long... ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Sat, 31 Oct 2009 06:46:26 MDT</pubDate>
	<author>wfdba</author>
	<category>Politics</category>
	<votes>4</votes>
	<guid>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=gideon-for-president-in-2008</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[UN Approves Resolution on Spammers]]></title>
	<link>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=un-approves-resolution-on-spammers</link>
  <source url="http%3A%2F%2Fwww.yorkbroadcast.com%2Fthe-news%2F14-un-approves-resolution-on-spammers"><![CDATA[UN Approves Resolution on Spammers]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[December 12 (ANS) New York -- The United Nations today approved a resolution that will allow the use of multi-warhead nuclear weapons against internet spammers...<br /><br /> ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Sat, 31 Oct 2009 06:43:30 MDT</pubDate>
	<author>wfdba</author>
	<category>World</category>
	<votes>4</votes>
	<guid>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=un-approves-resolution-on-spammers</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[The Feds Are Comin’ In To Gonads | The Gonads Holler]]></title>
	<link>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=the-feds-are-comin%E2%80%99-in-to-gonads-the-gonads-holler</link>
  <source url="http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gonadsok.us%2Fholler%2F2009%2F04%2Ffeds-are-coming%2F"><![CDATA[The Feds Are Comin’ In To Gonads | The Gonads Holler]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[A bunch of Feds showed up on the doorstep of the Gonads Inland Oyster company this morning with about a hundred U.S. Marshals and such. They come to town with intentions to shut down Inland Oyster flat, no questions asked. “What the hell for?” We asked, and the head Fed just said “That’s between us and the Inland Oyster people, why don’t you just go on about your business.” ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Sat, 31 Oct 2009 06:30:27 MDT</pubDate>
	<author>wfdba</author>
	<category>Special Items</category>
	<votes>4</votes>
	<guid>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=the-feds-are-comin%E2%80%99-in-to-gonads-the-gonads-holler</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Gideon Insults British Allies]]></title>
	<link>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=gideon-insults-british-allies</link>
  <source url="http%3A%2F%2Fwww.yorkbroadcast.com%2Ffeatures"><![CDATA[Gideon Insults British Allies]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[Boulder-Springs CO (ANSNow)<br />The British Home Office today lodged a formal complaint with U.S. Presidential Candidate T. Emory "Em" Gideon's campaign headquarters.  Two weeks ago, when British troops were being held by the Iranian government, Gideon is reported to have said in a speech to the Colorado Conservative Coalition.  "Who gives a... ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Fri, 30 Oct 2009 22:49:17 MDT</pubDate>
	<author>wfdba</author>
	<category>Politics</category>
	<votes>10</votes>
	<guid>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=gideon-insults-british-allies</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Colorado Senator Proposes New Treason Statute]]></title>
	<link>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=colorado-senator-proposes-new-treason-statute</link>
  <source url="http%3A%2F%2Fstatesman.solacecreek.net%2Fnews%2Fnational%2F24-colorado-senator-proposes-new-treason-statute"><![CDATA[Colorado Senator Proposes New Treason Statute]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[Washington (ANS Wire) Colorado Senator Douglas "Dooley" Neall (PNCP) today introduced legislation in the Senate that would vastly expand the list of "treasonable" activities. Neall said that with over a trillion dollars in federal funds at risk and a national debt exceeding ten trillion dollars, it is time to establish some rigid penalties regarding the abuse of fiscal controls. The high points of Neall's bill are (verbatim from the text of the bill): ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Thu, 29 Oct 2009 13:43:36 MDT</pubDate>
	<author>wfdba</author>
	<category>News</category>
	<votes>4</votes>
	<guid>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=colorado-senator-proposes-new-treason-statute</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[SeemsFree Denies Vending Machine Fraud]]></title>
	<link>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=seemsfree-denies-vending-machine-fraud</link>
  <source url="http%3A%2F%2Fstatesman.solacecreek.net%2Fnews%2Fnational%2F21-seemsfree-denies-vending-machine-fraud"><![CDATA[SeemsFree Denies Vending Machine Fraud]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[Gonads OK (ANS) - SeemsFree, the world's largest retailer, today issued a statement denying complicity in the use of rigged vending machines in over 4,000 stores in the United States. Late yesterday afternoon, a federal subpeona was issued for all documents related to the company's dealings with game machine giant WagerzTech... ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Thu, 29 Oct 2009 13:38:52 MDT</pubDate>
	<author>wfdba</author>
	<category>Business</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=seemsfree-denies-vending-machine-fraud</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Police Lieutenant Suspended]]></title>
	<link>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=police-lieutenant-suspended</link>
  <source url="http%3A%2F%2Fbsjournal.solacecreek.net%2Fcomponent%2Fcontent%2Farticle%2F16-police-lieutenant-suspended"><![CDATA[Police Lieutenant Suspended]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[Boulder-Springs - (ANS) by Leo Wolski, City Editor. Police Lieutenant Jesse Hartwood was placed on indefinite administrative leave after the death of an unidentified suspect... ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Thu, 29 Oct 2009 13:15:18 MDT</pubDate>
	<author>wfdba</author>
	<category>News</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=police-lieutenant-suspended</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Gideon Responds to Texas Attack]]></title>
	<link>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=gideon-responds-to-texas-attack</link>
  <source url="http%3A%2F%2Fstatesman.solacecreek.net%2Fnews%2Fnational%2F20-gideon-responds-to-texas-attack"><![CDATA[Gideon Responds to Texas Attack]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[In a WebSpeech approximately one hour ago, Presidential hopeful Em Gideon responded to recent attacks by Texans and Texas supporters.  The attackers were riled by the music that Gideon has playing on his campaign headquarters website Below is the full text of Gideon's speech... ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Thu, 29 Oct 2009 12:51:39 MDT</pubDate>
	<author>wfdba</author>
	<category>Politics</category>
	<votes>4</votes>
	<guid>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=gideon-responds-to-texas-attack</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Gideon Announces for President]]></title>
	<link>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=gideon-announces-for-president</link>
  <source url="http%3A%2F%2Fstatesman.solacecreek.net%2Fnews%2Fnational%2F19-gideon-announces-for-president"><![CDATA[Gideon Announces for President]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[Solace Creek, Colorado - Colorado Representative Em Gideon yesterday announced his candidacy for President in the 2008 elections.  Called an extremist by many, this newspaper included, Gideon's WebSpeech ranted about immigration as usual, but added a new twist.  In addition to closing the borders, he seeks immediate deportation of... ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Thu, 29 Oct 2009 12:48:16 MDT</pubDate>
	<author>wfdba</author>
	<category>Politics</category>
	<votes>4</votes>
	<guid>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=gideon-announces-for-president</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Statesman Unearths Revealing Cade Photos]]></title>
	<link>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=statesman-unearths-revealing-cade-photos</link>
  <source url="http%3A%2F%2Fstatesman.solacecreek.net%2Fnews%2Flocal%2F18-statesman-unearths-revealing-cade-photos"><![CDATA[Statesman Unearths Revealing Cade Photos]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[April 1, 2008 - Solace Creek Colorado. <br />We at the Statesman have uncovered a series of revealing and possibly incriminating photographs relating to the Acolytican Church.  These photographs are... ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Thu, 29 Oct 2009 12:46:19 MDT</pubDate>
	<author>wfdba</author>
	<category>Religion</category>
	<votes>3</votes>
	<guid>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=statesman-unearths-revealing-cade-photos</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Gideon Calls for Severed Relations with U.K.]]></title>
	<link>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=gideon-calls-for-severed-relations-with-u-k-</link>
  <source url="http%3A%2F%2Fbsjournal.solacecreek.net%2Fworld-news%2F14%2F37-gideon-calls-for-severed-relations-with-uk"><![CDATA[Gideon Calls for Severed Relations with U.K.]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[Boulder-Springs CO (ANS): Colorado Congressman T. Emory "Em" Gideon (RW) today called for the United States government to sever relations with the United Kingdom over the current audit and repayment demands for MP overstated expenses... ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Thu, 29 Oct 2009 12:39:58 MDT</pubDate>
	<author>wfdba</author>
	<category>Politics</category>
	<votes>4</votes>
	<guid>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=gideon-calls-for-severed-relations-with-u-k-</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Breaking the Rules and Loving It]]></title>
	<link>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=breaking-the-rules-and-loving-it</link>
  <source url="http%3A%2F%2Fbsjournal.solacecreek.net%2Flocal%2F16%2F32-breaking-the-rules-and-loving-it"><![CDATA[Breaking the Rules and Loving It]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[Boulder-Springs (ANS): The Boulder-Springs County Commissioners are having a heyday after firing the county's internal audit staff. There are no more expense audits, no more policy enforcements, and a raging fear within the entire county workforce that any... ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Thu, 29 Oct 2009 12:33:27 MDT</pubDate>
	<author>wfdba</author>
	<category>Special Items</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=breaking-the-rules-and-loving-it</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[ATFSLU Threatens CORE Walkout]]></title>
	<link>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=atfslu-threatens-core-walkout-2</link>
  <source url="http%3A%2F%2Fbsjournal.solacecreek.net%2Fbusiness%2F25-nation-and-world%2F36-atfslu-threatens-core-walkout"><![CDATA[ATFSLU Threatens CORE Walkout]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[Boulder-Springs (ANS) - The Airline Telephone Flight Status Looker-Uppers (ATFSLU) has threatened to walk out on CORE Airways if CORE moves forward with an on-line application for the lookup of flight status... ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Thu, 29 Oct 2009 12:27:11 MDT</pubDate>
	<author>wfdba</author>
	<category>Business</category>
	<votes>2</votes>
	<guid>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=atfslu-threatens-core-walkout-2</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Boulder-Springs County Commissioners Fire Internal Audit Staff]]></title>
	<link>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=boulder-springs-county-commissioners-fire-internal-audit-staff</link>
  <source url="http%3A%2F%2Fbsjournal.solacecreek.net%2Flocal%2F16%2F31-boulder-springs-county-commissioners-fire-internal-audit-staff"><![CDATA[Boulder-Springs County Commissioners Fire Internal Audit Staff]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[Boulder-Springs, special to the Journal  Last night, it an eight to one decision, the Boulder-Springs county commissioners fired the county's entire internal audit staff of five people.<br /><br />"They were digging into things that were none of their business," said an unnamed... ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Thu, 29 Oct 2009 12:11:13 MDT</pubDate>
	<author>wfdba</author>
	<category>Special Items</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=boulder-springs-county-commissioners-fire-internal-audit-staff</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Snow Hits Grade Employee Pocketbooks - Fills Grade's?]]></title>
	<link>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=snow-hits-grade-employee-pocketbooks-fills-grades</link>
  <source url="http%3A%2F%2Fbsjournal.solacecreek.net%2Flocal%2F16%2F29-snow-hits-grade-employee-pocketbooks-fills-grades"><![CDATA[Snow Hits Grade Employee Pocketbooks - Fills Grade's?]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[Boulder-Springs (ANS) With the season's first heavy snow upon us, the Journal is closely monitoring Damien Holdings with regard to a story we ran last October about hotel kickbacks.  The State Attorney's office is also... ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Thu, 29 Oct 2009 12:05:58 MDT</pubDate>
	<author>wfdba</author>
	<category>Business</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=snow-hits-grade-employee-pocketbooks-fills-grades</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Grade Accused of Hotel Kickbacks]]></title>
	<link>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=grade-accused-of-hotel-kickbacks</link>
  <source url="http%3A%2F%2Fbsjournal.solacecreek.net%2Flocal%2F16%2F28-grade-accused-of-hotel-kickbacks"><![CDATA[Grade Accused of Hotel Kickbacks]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[Boulder-Springs (ANS) - Damien Grade, chairman of Damien Holdings, and ranked in the world's top twenty wealthiest people, was accused this morning of a hotel kickback scheme that affects more than 1,000 employees of Damien Holdings and Bericraft Aviation.  This comes... ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Thu, 29 Oct 2009 11:59:21 MDT</pubDate>
	<author>wfdba</author>
	<category>Business</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=grade-accused-of-hotel-kickbacks</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Gideon "Takes Off Gloves" for Super Tuesday]]></title>
	<link>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=gideon-takes-off-gloves-for-super-tuesday</link>
  <source url="http%3A%2F%2Fbsjournal.solacecreek.net%2Fcomponent%2Fcontent%2Farticle%2F30-gideon-qtakes-off-glovesq-for-super-tuesday"><![CDATA[Gideon "Takes Off Gloves" for Super Tuesday]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[Boulder-Springs, Colorado (ANS), On the eve of Super Tuesday and the Colorado Caucuses, Congressman Thaddeus Emory "Em" Gideon (R-Colorado) issued a scathing web speech attacking immigration, the American middle class, and the Roman Catholi...<br /><br />	  ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Thu, 29 Oct 2009 11:50:53 MDT</pubDate>
	<author>wfdba</author>
	<category>Politics</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=gideon-takes-off-gloves-for-super-tuesday</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Is Em Gideon Nuts?]]></title>
	<link>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=is-em-gideon-nuts</link>
  <source url="http%3A%2F%2Fbsjournal.solacecreek.net%2Fcomponent%2Fcontent%2Farticle%2F26-is-em-gideon-nuts"><![CDATA[Is Em Gideon Nuts?]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[Yesterday, Colorado Congressman Thaddeus Emory "Em" Gideon, announced his candidacy for President of the United States!  What's next? Yellow Labradors running for Congress?  There are three very frightening concepts related to this... ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Thu, 29 Oct 2009 11:43:10 MDT</pubDate>
	<author>wfdba</author>
	<category>Politics</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=is-em-gideon-nuts</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Distraught Security Woman Leaps From Helicopter]]></title>
	<link>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=distraught-security-woman-leaps-from-helicopter</link>
  <source url="http%3A%2F%2Fbsjournal.solacecreek.net%2Fcomponent%2Fcontent%2Farticle%2F24-distraught-security-woman-leaps-from-helicopter"><![CDATA[Distraught Security Woman Leaps From Helicopter]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[ANSNow!™ instantaneous news reports from Affinity News Source.<br />October 18, 2007 - BREAKING NEWS (ANS)...  An unidentified woman, a member of the Vice President's security team, has jumped to her death from the helicopter designated Marine Two over the Yampa Valley in western Colorado.  It has been confi... ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Thu, 29 Oct 2009 11:31:05 MDT</pubDate>
	<author>wfdba</author>
	<category>News</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=distraught-security-woman-leaps-from-helicopter</guid>
</item>

<item>
	<title><![CDATA[Colorado Congressman Killed While Hunting With Veep]]></title>
	<link>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=colorado-congressman-killed-while-hunting-with-veep</link>
  <source url="http%3A%2F%2Fbsjournal.solacecreek.net%2Fcomponent%2Fcontent%2Farticle%2F23-colorado-congressman-killed-while-hunting-with-veep"><![CDATA[Colorado Congressman Killed While Hunting With Veep]]></source>
	<description><![CDATA[October 18, 2007 - Boulder-Springs Colorado (ANS)...  Nolan Trueax, four-term congressman from Colorado's seventh congressional district, died today after being accidentally shot by a member of the Vice President's security team.  Detail... ]]></description>
	<pubDate>Thu, 29 Oct 2009 11:29:56 MDT</pubDate>
	<author>wfdba</author>
	<category>News</category>
	<votes>1</votes>
	<guid>http://ans.wifiction.com/story.php?title=colorado-congressman-killed-while-hunting-with-veep</guid>
</item>

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